Chapter 1 – The hangover
Late one summer night, after a long day of broken sleep, Dougal stretched, groaned and woke up.
His stomach ached and he felt rotten.
Dougal had such a fun night yesterday at his best friend, Missy’s birthday party. But when he went to bed, early in the morning, which is like a late night for you or me, because hedgehogs are nocturnal and sleep during the day and go to school during the night, he wasn’t feeling very well.
Now he was feeling worse.
Dougal rubbed his eyes, whilst they adjusted to the sliver of light that was pouring into his room from the crack under the door, and then groaned again before jumping straight out of bed and scurrying to the bathroom as quickly as his little legs would carry him.
Dougal was not well. Not very well at all.
“Are you ok, darling?” Asked his mum through the door fearing the worst. She had heard Dougal groaning and was just on her way to check on him when she saw him rush into the bathroom.
“I don’t feel well” Dougal moaned.
Dougal’s mum, Mary, was a kind and loving hog, and a successful sales rep at “Wormingtons”, the luxury food retailer in town. Mary loved all 4 of her children very much and was quite happy for them all to still live at home despite the arguments with her husband about it and the comments she got from her friends. They all believed that children should leave home as soon as possible and fend for themselves but Mary loved having a full house. She loved the chatter and the chaos, and most of all loved feeding them and feeling needed.
Mary wore glasses when cooking and reading, but her eyesight was still good and she never missed a trick. Dougal and his siblings believed she had eyes in the back of her head. This was because Mary regularly said that to them.
“Stop fighting with your brothers Dougal” she would say “I’ve got eyes in the back of my head and can see you even when you think I’m not looking”.
But she didn’t. She just had the usual mum super powers.
When Dougal came out of the bathroom after quite some time he looked very sorry for himself.
“Mum, I’ve been sick. And I’ve got an upset tummy” he said with tears welling up in his eyes.
“Oh Dougal,” sighed mum as she gave him a hug to make him feel better, “ No College for you tonight. I’ll phone them.”
Mum settled Dougal back into bed with a glass of water and a washing up bowl in case he felt sick again and told him that she would check in on him again soon.
Whilst Dougal snoozed, Mary called the College to let them know that Dougal couldn’t come in tonight.
Mary could have really done without Dougal being sick as she had an important meeting at work and couldn’t afford to take time off again. But Derick, Dougal’s dad, was away on a business trip so he couldn’t help. And Grandad and Granny were sadly no longer around (that’s a tragic story about a busy road and garden fire, but that’s for another time).
So Mary called the College to let them know why Dougal was off and then called the office to tell them she couldn’t make it in to work.
When she called work she was surprised to find Mark answering the phone. Mark was the top hog at Wormingtons and he never answered the phone. But today he did.
“Hello Mary, it’s Mark,” he said before she even got a chance to introduce herself. “I know why you’re calling.”
“Do you?” said Mary, taken aback.
“Yes,” he replied, certain of the fact. “You can’t make it in today because Dougal is unwell. Meagan, Claire, John and Hannah are all off too with sick children, so I know it must be serious.”
“Oh,” exclaimed Mary, understanding that to mean that if it was only one of her children that was off sick (again) then it wouldn’t actually be serious or genuine.
Mark continued, “The meeting has been postponed. It seems as though there is a nasty bug going around. I hope Dougal feels better soon and that you don’t get it.”
“Thank you Mark, and I’m really sorry that I can’t make it in” she said as she hung up the phone feeling relieved but also irritated by the way Mark spoke to her.
As soon as Mary was off the phone she sent a message via Snufflagram, the hedgehog instant messaging app, to Meagan and Hannah, her best work friends. Mary had known Meagan and Hannah since they were all at school together.
“Dougal’s unwell. I just called the office and Mark told me that Mia and Brian are also unwell. Have they got a bug too? Also, Marks such a Hog-Spike!”
Wiiiiiishh went the message as it flew off to Meagan and Hannah. It sounded like the wind blowing through tree leaves. Swiftly followed by a Ping and then another Ping as Hannah’s responses landed in Mary’s inbox.
“Brian’s been sick all night. 🤮” said Hannah’s message which included a sick emoji to highlight the fact.
“I’ve spoken to Missy’s mum to see if she’s ok. I was a bit worried that it might have been something they ate.”
“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that,” responded Mary.
“Apparently Missy is ok though and so are most of the other children. So I don’t think it was any of the party food. BTW what’s Mark done this time? But yeah, he is such a Hog-Spike 😂 ”
The wiiiishhing and ping sounds built up to a flurry becoming more than a little annoying as Mary and Hannah’s messages volleyed back and forth. But Mary never turned the sound off her phone as she was paranoid that she would one day miss another important call, like the last time Granny tried to ring her (but that sad story is for another day).
“U fink they done milk? x” Said Meagan as she entered the conversation.
Meagan never used proper English in her messages despite her phone having perfectly good predictive text. She was in some ways quite different to Mary and Hannah but they were all great friends and Meagan was an excellent sales rep. Meagan had been a little wild in her younger days and Hannah and Mary both knew that she had tried milk more than a few times. She’d also bragged about doing some of the harder stuff, Cheese and Crystals, but Mary and Hannah never knew if she was being truthful about that.
“They’re too young. Surely?” said Hannah.
“They wouldn’t be so stupid” said Mary sounding a tiny bit judgmental.
“Na. Haha. was about them age wen I first dun it x” replied Meagan, “And Missy is probs fine on it. Member how much her Mum loves it when we was yung. Them mice is made of diff stuff. Haha.”
The idea of the kids trying Milk was such a shock to Mary and Hannah that they forgot all about Mary’s frustration with Mark.
“If they dun it we shood let em sleep it off x” said Meagan, the voice of experience.
“Make sure they ave sum water an they’ll be ok.”
Mary and Hannah agreed with Meagan and Mary told them that she’d be talking to Dougal about this as soon as he woke up. She was sure there must be another explanation but at the moment she couldn’t think what that could be.
